May 2013
strifeandslash:
safe sex is for losers (takes off knee pads and helmet)
i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
It's only 10AM and I already want to punch...
my hobbies include pausing nicki minaj videos
lameborghini:
*sends u nudes but just as a friend*
So I walk to my car to discover someone had hit my bumper and now it’s all smooshed…smushed…whatever…in and mangled. I suppressed the urge to scream. Got in my car.
And then I fucking screamed my face off shouting all sorts of obscenities.
Currently smoking a cig. Not really though. It’s an e-cig. Because i’m a responsible fucking adult.
Dear Universe,
...
juniebjoneses replied to your post: I was thinking about taking a road trip this weekend…
Boston! Or you could do Vermont, New Hampshire or something like that— nature-y New England is awesome
Hmmm never been to Vermont. I’m going to look into this. Thanks for the suggestions, friend!
I was thinking about taking a road trip this...
Just to get out of NY.
Just to be alone.
With my thoughts.
Thoughts about crushin’ ass.
And also about life.
But where shall I drive to?
claydols:
im trying to be more positive *sheds electrons and becomes highly unstable*
john-journal:
gllob:
a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced
couturierer:
if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
amoying:
warm soda is the worst thing that can happen
The highlight of my day:
I saw a man today walking down the street with a giant box of cinnamon toast crunch. He had the biggest smile on his face. Like he won the fucking lottery.
